WASHINGTON D.C. — Earlier today a majority of three Jews and six Catholics (three Yale and six Harvard) ruled that from where they sit — i.e. the bench of the Supreme Court — the United States’ 237 year old history of white supremacy is over.

One less thing.

The centerpiece of the high court’s tacit revocation of the 15th Amendment, is the at times rambling — some would say ‘bouyant’ — opinion by Chief Justice John Roberts:

No question dat when Congress past the VRA you niggers were disenfranchised. Today, dat White House be crawlin’ with all matta’ you mothafuckahs and we know dare’s been sum pornicatin’ goin’ on. Mays well call it the Black House. Dat very same nigga’ ‘pointed dat acidic Jew bitch, Kagen, and ‘dat Sonia Da’ Bronks Beaner.

‘Cordin’ly, as chief justice of dis hear ornerable court, I hearbye find and rool and do most definitely declare an end to the racial divides in the various states — lessed of corse y’all have facial hair or ware a funny hat or prey to an alternate dayahdee — in witch case the President, be he Democratik or Christian, will shoot Hellfire so far up yo’ skinny ass y’all wish to Allah yewd staid in y’alls cave playin’ yer pressher cooker. Ol” Spraky — dat’s a muthafuckin’ pressher cooker, right dare!

Nothing herein should be interpreted to mean — like we wrote three weeks ago — dat we won’t be still arbitrarily cheek-swabbin’  cold casin’ cold cockin’ and archivin’ all y’alls DNA for when y’all go off the rails down dat road a piece. As my soshyit Justice Scaila rote den and as I republish hearin by reference: ‘Make no mistake about it, as an entirely predictable consequence of today’s decision your DNA can be taken and entered into a national DNA data base if you are ever arrested, rightly or wrongly, and for whatever reason. Call it a high-tech lynching.’

Now dat’s only if y’all go of the rails and y’all know yo gonna’ ’cause dats how niggas are. Is what day do. Otherwise, y’all welcome to come on in. Water’s fine!

Justice Clarence Thomas wrote a separate concurring opinion:

While it’s true that I may have famously invoked the term ‘high-tech lynching,’ at my confirmation hearing, at this writing there can be no question that our political culture has completely changed. Everywhere I go white people are nice to me and treat me with utmost respect and courtesy. As an example, the President has not killed a single black citizen with a combat drone. Yet, he killed a Muslim American from Colorado as he traveled peacefully through the desert in Yemen. The President’s decision to not first target the black man with a new enforcement tool is empirical evidence as to how far we have progressed as a society. Beyond that, I can not find a caucasian anywhere who has a negative word to say about ol’ Clarence.

President Obama was not immediately available for comment. As reported earlier today, the President and a group of canvassers from his 2012 Ohio campaign staff are is in Russia looking for Edward Snowden. See, Operation Propellarhat.