House Armed Services Committee Thinks Affleck Is An Insurance Company

matt-damon-benn-affleck-aflac-duckWASHINGTON ~ Ben Affleck brought some star power to Capitol Hill recently, as the actor and director testified before the House Armed Services Committee on the situation in Congo.
Chairman: The committee will hear from Mr. Aflac.
Mr. Affleck: Affleck.
Chairman: Cracks me up…
Witness: That’s Gilbert Gottfried.
Chairman: Mr. Aflac…
Witness: It’s Ben — B-E-N Affleck!!!
Chairman: Any truth to the rumor you and Jason Bourne are homosexual?
Witness: We all have questions about Matt.
Chairman: That Flying V was genius…
Committee: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Witness: What the — that’s Emilio Estevez — Mighty Ducks.
Chairman: He said ‘ducks!’
Committee: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Witness: If I could — the situation in Eastern Congo…
Chairman: Mr. Aflac, your time has expired. This committee thanks you for your testimony.